Oh lordy lordy. My last blog post was back in March. That's about when ze sheet hit zee fan. I was 19 weeks pregnant with bubba no.2 and I went for my first scan. Then I got a call we had to go see the specialist...from there it was weekly scans to keep an eye on his growth. Then at 27 weeks I was admitted to hospital. I was 5 and a half hours from home. I spent 7 weeks living on a ward with daily monitoring on baby and me. Bubs came at 33 weeks via emergency C section, and then we faced another 7 weeks NICU. It’s quite a different world, quite a different way of living. Everyone thought I’d be bored out of my brain. But boredom doesn’t really feature...it just feels like pure survival and the time between monitorings easily slips away. But it's hard times like these you realise what really matters in life and so here are my 5 life lessons from my time on the inside! 1.The most important thing in life is not objects nor jobs, nor money. It is the people. It is relationships. He aha te mea nui o te ao What is the most important thing in the world? He tangata, he tangata, he tangata It is the people, it is the people, it is the people Maori proverb It is the ones that you love and need to be near. It’s the kind hearted people you meet along the way. It is missing a part of your son’s growing up when you are away from home for so long. It is women I barely know stepping up to help me. Bringing me wholesome food, tying my hair up as I can’t bend my arm with an IV line in. It is holding hands with women in the middle of the night when babies threaten to come into the world too early. It is the tears and laughter of shared journey’s. It is relationships straining at the seams as both partners struggle to keep themselves afloat let alone another in high times of pain and stress, it is making those steps forward and towards each other again, and holding each other. Nurture your relationships. They really are the most important thing. 2. You really don't need much stuff. So, so much stuff that I don't need RIGHT now. I lived out of a suitcase for three months. I didn't need that much. When I came home I realised just HOW much stuff and fluff and crap was in my house, and erm, I think about 80% of it is mine. All these craft projects that I’ll do ‘one day’. I am creative I wanna try it all...but what ends up happening is I do none because there’s too much stuff in the way to start and focus on one. I have a whole laundry basket of sewing material waiting for the magic day I decide I love sewing...I do not love sewing. As I slowly purge my house, I find more time to actually get out my paints (they aren’t going anywhere, nor are my pencils and printmaking stuff...I love them). Less stuff = more time and a calmer mind (and a calmer mummy). Less stuff = more calm and more creativity. 3. You really do have to be in the right head space/environment to create. This was a surprise. You read all the time about just getting up and doing the thing you love even if you don’t feel like it at the time. Well I had weeks to pump out a million mandala's but I did one and that was it. When I looked at the notebook and pens I was reminded of where I was, and what I was doing and how I didn't want to be there. You sort of hit survival mode. Another friend who has gone through the same ordeal did the same...had weeks to knit a babies blanket but it just didn’t happen. A certain part of my brain needs to be engaged in order to create something, and in a stark hospital environment there was little around to engage it. Very little colour, no fresh air, sharing a room with 3 others, constant interruptions...it does not lend itself to creativity. You need fresh sights and new experiences to nurture creativity, and a nice space to create in! 4. Outdoors is amazing! It’s seriously under appreciated. Hubby and I went for a walk in a lovely little garden near the end of my hospital stay. I found an amazingly large seed pod and showed it to my husband with such enthusiasm that he laughed and said ‘You need to get out more’. I agreed. It was a gift to see the natural world through fresh eyes again. We speed by it all and ignore the amazing growth and life all around us. I’m trying to not let this wonderment fade again too much. On my little walks on hospital grounds towards the end of our stay, I honestly walked around with a silly grin on my face at how amazing and beautiful flowers and plants were. Get outside more. Take the time to really see nature. (Children can help you do that, they are still filled with wonderment and curiosity of all that is around them.) 5. Money: It's just numbers. Another unexpected learning curve. We have got backwards significantly with a hospitilsation 5 hours from home, and me stopping work early. But with a little life at the center of all this, and being incredibly lucky to have him and have him so well, nothing else much matters. Money comes and goes. It waxes and wans. I used to be quite hung up on money and debt and making it to each payday. Now, it’ll be what it’ll be. It won’t be forever. Nothing is more important than having a gorgeous wee soul join our family. This is the path that had to happen to make sure he got here safe. And so once again…
He tangata, he tangata, he tangata... xXx p.s so much thanks to all those wonderful souls who supported us this year...(and a special mention to my Husbands Aunt who was with me for 'false alarms' and then for the real deal. Not an easy way to get to know someone better!)
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